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~the rains~***the day when everything starts to grow*** 7/4/2006 just some updates:)I just finished writing an report on BEEM this afternoon. Now I don't really want to do anything constructive, so let me write something on this blog since I haven't touched it for a long long time.
So A*STAR has finally allowed me to spend four years at Wellesley, though they still urge me to try my best to finish in three years. Thanks for the advices from Prof. Stark, Dean Tenser and Dean O'Keeke. Well, I shall see how it goes. But I guess spending four years at Wellesley is really worthwhile, though I will have to finish my PhD in four years.
And I know my roommate already. She's just so amazing. She has fought against all odds and achieved so much. I really admire her. And I'll be living in Beebe Hall, which has a pirate culture:)
{Em..there's something called "international talk-like-a-pirate day" there. Really interesting.
"Most years, on the eve of September 19, Beebe residents are busy chalking the campus sidewalks with pirate sayings to alert other students. The more adventurous Beebe broads dress up or truly observe the day by talking like a pirate, much to the delight (and occasional confusion) of their peers and professors."
5/31/2006 A Big Thank You to AllI think I am getting more and more lazy to write something here. Hope I haven't made all my visitors to this bloggie disappointed.
There has been lots of emotional ups and downs for me in the past two weeks. Now things are getting more or less settled, and I've found a long list of people to thank. Many people whom I am going to thank won't visit here at all, but I still want to write about them here.
It has been really difficult to find two guarantors. After all, what Mdm. Teng said in class last year and what Mrs. Chew has been telling me are not wrong. But in these two weeks, I have found so many people who trust me so much and are willing to lend a helping hand; and in fact, some of them never knew me before.
Firstly, a big thank you to my mummy and Serene for cheering me up. At one point of time I nearly thought of giving up, as my only relative in Singapore was not willing to help me. I was wondering who would ever help if even my own relative wouldn't want to. Thank Serene for telling me "never give up until the last minute", and giving me so much encouragement in the past two weeks.
And I am really grateful to Mr. Kadir, who trusts me so much and has given me so much support. I was really startled when he said an assured and cheerful "of course" just after my first sentence on the phone. Although he couldn't become my guarantor because he is already a guarantor for somebody else, his "of course" let me see some hope. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful teacher, who has given me tons of encouragement and guidance during my two years in RJ, and is always willing to help me and cheer for me even after I graduated.
Of course I would like to thank my two guarantors as well. Both of them never knew me before, but they helped me without doubting my character at all. Since they trust me so much, I shall be responsible in the years to come. (Anyway it is against my value to break bond. I don't want to feel guilty because of any selfish means. And I will never dare to hurt the feelings of people who have been trusting me. As what my father has been telling me, any person shall not think about his own benefits only.)
And there are many others who have helped me in the past two weeks. Thanks to Mr. Phang Father and Mr. Phang Son, my father's high school principal, Hui Xian, my aunt's boss and his wife, my jiu ma and her sister-in-law, my grandmother and Mr. Lim. And not to forget my father, who came all the way to Singapore to help me to settle this. And I would also like to thank all my friends who unknowingly helped by chatting with me online. Actually, two days before the deadline, I still hadn't found my second guarantor; somebody gave me a game to play and as a result, I managed to put my worries aside:)
I just feel that I am so lucky. I am really touched to receive all the care and help. And I am really really grateful.
I know that I am making a huge commitment here. This is not just 14 years; it is likely to be many many more years. But since I've made such a decision, I shall just go on without regret.
And here's a message for tomorrow: 儿童节快乐！ 5/13/2006 NostalgiaLiu Cong left for home this morning; and I woke up to send her off at 4am. In fact, I intended to stayed awake until that time, but I just couldn't force my eyes open when the clock struck 2am.
We hugged each other so tightly, saying "好好照顾自己“ to each other again and again. My eyes were tear-wet, though I tried my best to control myself. I just don't know when will be the next time that we see each other again.
After the taxi left with her, I was alone again, heavy-hearted. Lying on my bed, I was just too sad to fall asleep again, although I was really sleepy.
Farewell seems to be inevitable.
This is just like what happed a few weeks ago when I sent Xiao Xu and Zhenyi off at the Shenzhen Airport. I watched them walking away, waving goodbye to them again and again until my father asked me to go. How I wanted to stay longer with them, even for one more second! I just wondered when we would see each other again.
I went for RJCO concert at esplanade a week ago. Looking at all those familiar faces and instruments on the stage, I wondered how much I miss CO. Really. When the 05 concert struck the last note a year ago, I knew that I probably wouldn't have the chance to be in a CO any more. I felt the sense of loss. And I haven't recovered from this sense of loss even though one whole year has passed.
I am still spending a lot of time on my pipa now, and it has become part of my life. But playing the intrument alone is never the same as playing it in an orchestra. Though I still have "flight of bumble bees" to drive me crazy, I miss those days that I got really stressed up because of CO.
How I wish that there wouldn't be any farewell to all the things I love and all the people I love. But farewell is inevitable, because life goes on. 4/26/2006 College ChoiceThis April has been torturous. Making a college choice was so difficult. I just realised how stressful it could be.
So the story is about Cambridge Vs Wellesley. It is also a story about specialised education and all-rounded education.
Before April, I was pretty determined to go to Cambridge. The lecture-supervision system and the one-to-two supervisions is not bad after all. And the whole Natural Sciences course is well organised. Also, there are lots of geniuses around, according to ma bill.
But after quite a number of Wellesley students wrote me personal e-mails, I started to realise that Wellesley really has a caring and supportive environment. Then a Physics professor wrote me a personal e-mail as well. Comparing to all the mass-sending e-mails from other institutions, Wellesley really seems to be special. I applied because I heard of the caring and supportive environment there; now this kind of environment is tempting me to enrol. Also, the facilities and campus environment there seem to be fascinating as well:) And the cross-registration with MIT is pretty attractive since I'm not smart enough to get into MIT.
It has been really reaaly hard to make the choice. My anxiety was so evident while I was playing the pipa. I just couldn't calm myself down while I was playing it.
I called Xue laoshi last Saturday. To my surprise, he said I shall choose Wellesley, 毫不犹豫,义无反顾, before I gave him any description of the two schools. He was the one who helped me to make the decision to go to Singapore a few years ago; and now I've found that going to Singapore was quite a wonderful choice to make. All the while, he treats me like his daughter, giving me lots of suggestions and advices, even after I went to Singapore. I have lots of faith in his advice.
So I am choosing Wellesley.
The only thing that I am quite concerned about may be the all-girl environment; both Yexin and CaiLing said boys think from a different perspective from the girls, and I agree with that. But the all-girl environment provides lots of opportunities for the girls as well, which would not be possible at a co-education school.
Yang Hao once said that I shall choose Cambridge if I want to be a science researcher, and choose Wellesley if I want to be a powerful woman. Now the case is: I want to be a science researcher and I am choosing Wellesley. Is it a bit contradicting?
I can't say that this is my final decision as I still have not convinced my father, who thinks that undergraduate courses should be quite specialised. (But I guess he will respect my choice; however, it is still quite important to convince him.) And there is the possibility that I will be convinced to go to Cambridge by my father.
But no matter which school I choose, I won't regret. I'll be able to enjoy my life at both schools; it is just that life will be quite different. 蛋蛋！~^~蛋蛋你怎么可以点我名啊！下回我要罚你做多点蛋给我吃！！！！！！！
下不为例啊！
被点名的朋友需在自己的Blog里公开 8个理想伴侣的条件，同时加上说明：
1. He cares about me! 2. He's honest and upright. 3. He must have a brain:) 4. pending 5. pending 6. pending 7. pending 8. pending
Seriously, I've never thought about these. I guess you are not going to consider all these when the right person really comes. Before the right person comes, all these are not important as well. After the right person comes, there's no need to consider these. So why are we listing all these criteria? 4/10/2006 A Challenging Question (Must Try!)This question is so difficult. Everybody (especially Chemistry students) must try. I did not manage to work out the answer on my own.
So here it is:
Under certain conditions, B is changed into A. In boiled water, B is transformed into C. Under room conditions, C can be oxidised into D. D has the smell of rotten eggs.
What are A, B, C and D respectively?
------for the suggested answer to this question, please see comments. 3/23/2006 凤凰木《凤凰木》
------深圳中学校歌
你叶儿茸茸，你枝儿丛丛
春风吹夏雨浓，花开如霞涌 披着晨光，深情凝望 满园都是丹凤起舞朝阳红 你干儿苍苍，你根儿重重
秋风吹冬雨浓，傲然露峥嵘 踏着夕阳，深情仰望 满园都是苍龙盘踞云横空 凤凰木，是凤是龙
凤凰木，心中的梦 今天我们守望在你的身边 明天是你陪伴我们驾长风 《缘同根同心相通》
------深圳中学校友之歌
同样的年华同样的梦
同样的向往到深中 同样晒布岭 同样凤凰木 同样的缘分叫深中 同样的年华同样的梦 同样的感动在深中 同样的烛光 同样的海风 同样的名字叫深中 我们缘同根同心相通
春去秋来我们盼重逢 风雨人生 南北西东 你是我的彩虹，我是你的亲朋。 同样的年华同样的梦 同样的依恋叫深中 同样的英雄路 同样的儿女情 同样的思念叫深中 我们缘同根同心相通 春去秋来我们盼重逢 风雨人生 南北西东 你是我的彩虹，我是你的亲朋。
突然来了点灵感在网上闲逛，看到了许多已经疏于联络的朋友们的blog，也听到了这两首我在深中时未曾听到过的歌。 掰掰手指算算（其实不用掰手指也算得清楚），离开那个校园已经四年有多了，但对于那里的人，那里的事，我依然有许多丝依恋。尽管在那里只有短短两年，但两年足以在我的心中烙下很深的印记。 某人在blog上把我叫做"muggist mugger" (Mug means studying very very hard in Singlish.) 我想我如果没在深中呆两年的话我是不会变成muggist mugger的。 班主任双双老师威力无穷啊，被他教了两年我竟然变得越来越喜欢学习了，自己也不知道是怎么回事。后来这种对做作业的热忱就一直持续到现在，也怪不得人家叫我muggist mugger了:p Tutorials也做得得心应手啊，我想这也得归功于深中的老师们给我打下了的基础。感激不尽啊。 在深中的两年里还碰到了一位对我影响极大的恩师，他几乎颠覆了我原有的世界观。现在翻翻那两本写满了他的红字迹的随笔本，真为自己遇到了这么一位伟大的老师而倍感幸运。如果没有他，或许我今天也不会在星岛-----当时是他“举双手双脚赞成”并且大清早煲电话粥劝我不要放弃这个机会，我才勉强同意去参加新加坡的考试的。后来的辩论比赛他几乎成了我的遥控教练，RGS拿了冠军他帮了不少。每次放假回家我都去看他，记得有一次他还带着我跑出学校到一间超市里买番茄汁给我喝，说“这一瓶番茄汁等于五个番茄，很好的”。但很可惜来了新加坡之后，我的中文退化不少，原来的文学梦也渐行渐远了。
一直有人问我当年离开深中到底是不是一个正确的选择。其实我不知道。我只知道我没有后悔的余地。既然当年RGS的老师们在名单上轻轻一勾把我的命运的轨迹deviate了，我就得顺着这个新的方向走下去。 想想这几年做了什么，好像也没做什么，就是顺着特定的轨道做了些自己该做的东西。碰到了许多好朋友，许多关心我的人；领略了许多天才和怪胎的风采；学了琵琶，在乐团enjoy了几年；决定了未来的路通往science lab…… 春节的时候给薛老师打电话，老师说：“我知道这几年来，你一直没有放弃过努力。” 我没有放弃努力的资本啊，四年前从白云机场飞过来后我就无法选择回国了。现在想想，我没有对不起自己，我努力了，我也享受着我的生活。心安理得就对了，尽管我不能很肯定地说四年前离开深中是个绝对正确的选择。
如果让我从新选择的话，我会选择那条路呢？这是个很没有意义的问题。Yexin, QiQi, 你们觉得呢？ 3/10/2006 A-level results1st March
A-level results were finally released. This marked the full-stop of my JC life.
My results were within my expectation. They were exactly the same as my prelim results. (That was what happened two years ago as well.)
I was waiting for Charmaine at Bishan MRT before our class lunch. When I saw her, she told me that she needed to be at RJC in 15 minutes time. CONGRATULATIONS! It was really wonderful seeing my close friend emerge as a top scorer. I felt excited for her, and I'm really proud to have such a close friend.
The class lunch was a bit quiet. I guessed everyone was somewhat nervous. Besides admiring Sze Kiat's muscle, I think we did not have much laughter.
When we reached the RJC Multi-purpose Hall, Mr. Hodge was about to start his speech. After a few sentences, he started to annouce the winner for that top physics prize. I really dared not thinking about the prize. Although Mr. Kadir had been encouraging me to work for that since June 2004, I think I shouldn't put too much pressure onto myself. So when Mr. Hodge said "also from 2S01A, Zhuang Bilin", my heart almost jumped out. Mr. Kadir and Ms. Wang were smiling to me when I stood up. I shook hand with both of them and said thank you. At least I haven't made Mr. Kadir disappointed.
Then Yi Ming and Charmaine went up to the stage as they were the top scorers. I cheered for Charmaine as she walked up to the stage. How wonderdul is that! we have two top scorers in the class!
We were told that we got "the best in 25 years". I seriously did not think that we were so good. Maybe that was because the papers were harder than those of the past, so there was an advantage for Rafflesians.
Then we were queuing up to get our results. Isty got her results. She was so excited that she cried. She hugged me and thank me for helping her. I felt so touched. She had been so hardworking, and she really deserved the wonderful results that she has got.
After getting the results, we went around to thank the teachers. Ms. Wang was still making joke about my S-paper tuitorials being mass produced. At the same time, I took a while to look at my testimonial. Reading what Mr. Kadir has written, I was really touched. Somehow I felt like crying at that moment.
After settling everything, I suddenly felt very very sad. Nostalgia seemed to be unavaidable. Well, it was the grand fenale to my two years in RJC. I miss the people there. I miss the events there.
Those were the two happiest years for me so far. Many thanks to Charmaine, who has been offering her valuable ideas in our daily conversations; to Zhenyi, Xu Sheng and Liu Cong, who have given me a sense of belonging to RIB; to Mr. Kadir, who has been encouraging us and entertaining us; to Ms. Wang and Mdm. Teng, who were always wise and inspiring; to Mrs. Leong, who is having more and more white hairs. And I feel sorry to Miss Soh as we were so stone during her lessons...The list goes on...Thanks everybody in 2S01A!
When I was enjoying my life in 1A, I knew that I would surely miss it after I graduated. Now I really do. |
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